Sunday, December 16, 2007

Plan B

It all starts with a faint whisper. But for stubborn girls like me, curiosity crescendos to a loud calling I can't ignore. Meanwhile, the holidays are here and here I am. I kneel down and a 4 year old wraps its arms around me and as my cheek feels a kiss, I look up to a festive home filled with dozens of relatives. I'm home. Another hug, it's my young energetic uncle "aren't you in Italy yet?" I smile. "Soon!" and now it is me who changes the subject. Yes, soon… oh, so soon! My list tells me so.

I like lists.

Long detailed lists.

Plan A… Plan B. Plan C. Plan Z.

Why? Because routines and lists are life's great anesthetic that numbs us into a sense of security… but they also end up trapping us into habits that don't allow us to grow. I feel it.

Plans; life's Roadmap. While I've been occupying my mind tirelessly hours on end with one plan, one goal. Somehow a new (unplanned) door gracefully opened before me. Accept life's surprise for me?

My controlling nature rebels and demands I follow my old plan down to its most meticulous detail… but to my surprise, life wooed me and here I am, going to Rome with a new plan I didn't plan for, I didn't write for myself, but with new ways that have entirely captivated me! The best things in my life never had a long list, were never part of my plans... they are things that just happened, and I almost didn't dare give them the chance to be.

Recently something changed inside me. I'm comfortable enough that I no longer need strict plans to give me security, and I no longer need external permission... funny thing is that by letting go I now have both of them. Pfff!. Thanks, I guess, but I'll just take the flexibility of my internal safety blanket that goes where I go, and I'll adjust to the rest of life's details as they come.

January is almost here. Where did the year go? Life flies by oh so fast!

Plan B. That's the one. Plan Be. I'll dive in to life abroad and allow my life to just Be...


katerinafiore09 said...

brava amica...i enjoy the Plan to who you are and let the rest fall into place. love this post!

La delirante said...

Love the plan B: be :) Great idea!

"routines and lists are life's great anesthetic that numbs us into a sense of security… but they also end up trapping us into habits that don't allow us to grow. I feel it". That's very true. I am always writing lists of the things I would need when we finally get our house... :)

Roam2Rome said...

Ciao Katerina!

Grazie :o) Loved your MeMe today, very festive.

Hola Delirante,
Ah, another list maker... A little house? So then I assume that you're staying in the Mediterranean island for quite a while! I would, too :o)

Devil Mood said...

Wow, Plan Be, I love that!!
Good for you, I say. You changed for the better.

Tess said...

Lists... sounds familiar ;)

Most people can't let go of that kind of security and you can't really 'blame' them but what a great feeling if you can and act on it. I've been there too and the moment I could let go, I found bliss.

So I think it's very brave to 'just' Be! :)

Dana said...

Good for you for going with the flow! I have no doubt that things will work out fabulously for you. :)

Maddie said...

It is the great secret gift of
life to just be and I have a
sense you live that way very much
in the end after all your
although I have to say lists are fun
if only to toss away and see what
magic life has planned for us:)

Confessions of Cleopantha said...

Here here for plan Be! Sometimes life gives us more than we could have dared to imagine:)

l can't believe the year is just a tick tock away from over. lm glad though looking forward to 2008!

Maryann said...

You have such a good attitude. With your talents and insight, I know you'll do great wherever you are :)

paris parfait said...

Looking forward to seeing your plans unfold in 2008. Happy holidays to you and yours! xo

The Passionate Palate said...

Oh how lovely! It is amazing what happens when we are living in Plan Be...but I am like you and don't find it easy to get out of the way of myself to let life happen. So glad you are roaming back to Rome!