Tuesday, January 1, 2008

You have the answer...

(Original Post Date December 1st)

Many readers often write to me with all the things they'd love to do, but they don't because of family.

Today, as I read my private journal, one post stood out more than others. Yes, I keep a blog and a private journal. In my private notes I can be brutally honest, write from the heart, and be as super cheezy as I please… but I'll share one excerpt for a few people who are currently going through what I went through:

July, 2007

San Francisco Bay, California

...but what value would there be in life if one were to bitterly slip into unhappy conformity as you watch your essence and what you stand-for slip away from your tired fingers. No my dear, nothing destroys the spirit like the disillusionment of a life not lived.

For a life full of dreams is not enough. You need to live the goals you've set for yourself, fill your heart with smiles and soak your lips with the taste of freedom in order to brighten your perspective.

True. Nostalgia is life's great rose-colored filter that tends to rewrite our past.

True. Goals and dreams are the great rose-colored filter of our future, blinding us of the real challenges up ahead.

But both are sometimes necessary during hard times if we want to numb the reality of our todays, as we hold-on for better days...

My life's love destroys my loved ones, and it also destroys itself… Becoming as worthy as that lovely dress in the store window whose enormous price tag makes it unattainably ugly and unworthy.

In the past, I've made the choice to cancel goals for my family's happiness, at the expense of my own.

Yes, if I go out into the world again, I may have in the future all kinds of troubles waiting for me, but I'm willing to take the risk in hopes that I can also have many of my desires, and during my last days when I look back and balance both, that smiles outweigh tears, that benefits outweigh costs, and that a love-filled heart and the fresh aftertaste of freedom still lingers, blending with the sweetness of a life well lived...

Despite the hesitation seen above, I made my choice to go forward. Family came around.
Easy? No. But I'm glad I listened to my self... otherwise, I would have had to live with regret.

This post is for a few people who don't have blogs, but have shared with me their current dilemma.

No matter what it is. All I have to say in response is to have good intentions, do your research, and listen to your inner voice. You have the answer. Life's too short to ignore your self...


Kathy said...

We have never met, yet somehow you always manage to write things that I really need to read! Thank you!

erin said...

yes, I second Kathy's comment. And you are so right about the struggle between working up towards goals but not enjoying that time while you're working up to them...

Mayumi said...

You are awesome and inspiring and beautiful.

And it seems we're cheering for your upcoming move from all around the world.

Tui said...

Hey, not only did your family "come around" but you have come around, too, in that sweet photo of yourself. :)

I, too, keep a private journal. It's good to have a place that you know no one will see to hash things out.

Thanks for sharing that entry! :)

Eryn said...

you rock! nuff said :-)

Tina said...


sonyaustraliana said...

Grazie dal cuore Farfallina.

lomalinda said...

When we had decided to move to Rome I was 32 years old and put off the dreaded phone call to my mother, knowing our decision would not go over well with her. When I finally worked up the courage and gave her the news, she burst out crying and said I was going to ruin my life. As an adult woman, I basically had to lie to make her feel better. I told her my husband and I had jobs lined up. If I told her the truth - that we were moving here to follow a dream having no idea whether it would work out or not - well, she would never have understood. It's great to have family support your decision, but in the long run - you're the one who has to live with either the disappointment of the path not taken or satisfaction in the chasing of that dream. Run like the wind!

confabulous said...

I spend so much time second guessing and doubting myself. Is this an answer to my question posed yesterday? Sure feels like it. My heart feels like it needs to be here taking care of myself. Maybe I should listen to it.

Roam2Rome said...

Hope so Kathy!
Good luck in your Italian exams, finals are coming up next, aren't they? Music! The best thing to practice hearing comprehension and pronunciation is Italian music :)

Ciao Erin!
Uh! I see your new name and photo! You're right! Chris' blog is more analytical :) love it :)

Ciao Mayumi,
...aren't blog friends great? The blogosphere has been very kind to me :) Ah, I'm still laughing at yesterday's video, too funny!

Ciao Tui,
Ah, you're right! It's comforting to write on your journal thanks to the lack of external judgments :)

Ciao Eryn!
{cyber blush}

Ciao Tina.. Hola chica!

Ciao Sonya!
Grazie a te!... Come va? Spero che tutto vada bene :)

Ciao Lomalinda!
You have no idea how much I relate to your words! Actually, I also know several people who are currently going through something similar, so that makes me believe that there must be countless stories like yours!
It's funny how at the time we may feel as if it only happens to us, but a family's reaction might be part of the process. I've been waiting for many years for this move... it's good to have their support, but it cost me so much to earn it. I'm so tired. Peaceful. But I could have done this years ago. Oh well. At least I began translations, so not all was lost.

Ciao Confabulos!
Really? It sounded like your trip is pretty much made up... but there's a right time for everything.
Actually, a couple ladies have a similar story to Lomalinda...but in someway, we all have to balance between what we want, and what we feel others expect from us... you're definitely right. Listen to your heart! :)

La Flaca Benelli said...

Allora ti stai trasferendo a Roma??
Fammi un trillo quando sarai da queste parti.
In bocca al lupo!!

La delirante said...

The idea of the private journal sounds interesint. I think I will give it a thought!

Very inspiring post!

Have a lovely week,

Roam2Rome said...

Hola Flaquita :)
CREPI!!! Claro, en cuanto llegue te busco :)

Hola Delirante :)
Gracias por el MeMe de hoy, Ahora te debo un moton! Espero que tengas una buena semana tmb :)

Kathy said...

Ciao Farfallina,

Thanks you for the well wishes regarding my exams. I just posted about them in my blog!

And thanks for the recommendation to listen to music to help me learn!

Maddie said...

this is weird ~ I was just
reading my old journal and look
what was in it!!!

Listen to your inner thoughts
no matter how small or insignificant
~ these tenacious thoughts that
just won't go away should be
viewed by you as intention talking
to you.
Don't ignore it.

I can't read my own writing so
I am not sure who wrote this!

and this one...

If you focus on what others
expect of you, you'll continue
to act on and attract more of
what they desire for you.
But when you can shift your inner
thoughts to what you intend to
create and attract, you will no
longer have to give mental
energy to what others want for you.

that one is from a card I found
at my Aunt's cottage:)


do you still have the link to
that weddind dance?


Roam2Rome said...

Hi Maddie!!

Kindred Spirits I tell you! ;)

I love the quotes and will read them over many times until I learn to live by them :)

Ooops, I've been messing with the blog's code, but here's the link to the wedding video:


Maddie said...

thank you!!!

Mayumi said...

YAY for the new holiday deco you've been putting up around your e-home! I note that the colors match your theme for your actual xmas tree this year as well! Well done!

My xmas tree is eclectic, always. I lack the follow-through for themed trees, so my tree ends up being weird animals and festive ball shapes, and sparkly and woody and ...

I'll post a picture once we get it decorated (tonight).

Happy holidays!

Roam2Rome said...

Welcome Maddie :)

Ciao Kathy!
I'm glad your Italian exams went well ...things get interesting from now on! :)

Hi Mayumi!
Ah, you just missed my previous post that was lost in the blog shuffle... I posted the wedding video you showed us :) (See, Maddie liked it!).

Yes, I'm trying for my e-home to have holiday decorations like my real tree :) Actually, right now I'm supposed to be translating, but do you know how important blogs become when you have to be translating? hehe...

bellavitaitalia said...

Ciao Farfallina - Get your self over here in a hurry and start living that dream again!

Karen Cole said...

I am sooo living vicariously through your stories.

That's not really a bad thing. At this moment, in my life, I'm doing the right thing for me.

Keep them coming.

Dana said...

I've come back and read this post a few times now because it really resonates with me. A life without dreams is no life at all. :)

Preya said...

This post speaks to me so much! I'm not going to move back early, but I might have to move back without the security I had hoped for; as you say, I think it will be worth it!

Roam2Rome said...

Ciao Bellavita!
Uuuu, yes ma'am! with pleasure! ;)

Ciao Karen!
You know, that's exactly the mentality I try to have, too! Do what I can, what is right for me in this moment. I like your words.

Ciao Dana!
I lurk in your blog all the time now, and I tried posting a comment, but your blog doesn't let me... it tells me to check my computer for viruses and that worried me! I'm getting a new program this week-end, and I'll try to visit you again :) I'll email you! Kisses!

Ciao Preya!
Mmm, definitely. So many of your posts resonate with me, too. Trust me, I know what you mean, since it's what I'll be doing, too!

Blogger said...

If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you need to watch this video
right away...

(VIDEO) Get your ex back with TEXT messages?